In an unprecedented show of honing the mojo of Lorena Bobbitt, a 34-year-old woman has been charged with malicious castration for allegedly trying to dice-up a man's pride at a Christmas party.
After a night of heavy drinking at a party, Rebecca Arnold Dawson and a 38-year-old man got into a bout of fisticuffs at the party hosted by the man's girlfriend. During the fight, Dawson is accused of pulling the classic "genital-clutch-move" on the man, which is typically frowned upon in a fair fight.
Now this wouldn't be much of a story, had it not been for the power of the woman's genital-clutch-move. According to Lillington Police Chief Frank Powers;
"I believe he needed more than 50 stitches to repair the damage, but he is back home at his point." The chief continued, "All we can tell you is that the injury was done with the hands. There were no weapons used."
50 stitches, one hand, one grab. No weapons. There is a lesson to be learned here, young readers. Something you should take to heart. Women fight 100x dirtier than men, and will not hold back. What they lack in strength they make up for in tactics and ruthlessness. Maximus would rue the day he had to fight a female gladiator.
The story ends in typical fashion. Dawson was released from jail on Wednesday, on $50,000 bond, and faced several other charges. In a defiant gesture, the tough lady also allegedly spit on an officer. Remember the lesson, women fight dirty.